Why It’s Embarrassing to “Begin Again” — Or is it just me?
If you’re having trouble staying consistent, we’re rowing the same boat!
I started writing my #SundayReads series back in 2020 when the pandemic was fresh and all I had was time. Time to do the things I want like read, write, and explore side gigs, just to fill in the space of staying still. Then after what felt like an eternity passed, the world opened once more. I moved abroad once more and neglected my #SundayReads. My excuse was that I got busy with settling in and starting a new life in a new city. But did I spend my Sundays scrolling on TikTok? Yes. So fast forward to today, it is now 29th December 2023 as I’m writing this and I have left my series behind for about three years.
So, what happened?
Yes, I got busy, and yes I got distracted. But as I am writing this I realize what made it hard for me to stay consistent with this project are three main things:
- Lacking innovation — what I mean by innovation is that in the age where entertainment is now video-based and very fast-paced, writing has become boring. Of course, there’s an art in writing that no videos, imagery, or any other form of art can replace. In essence, each media has its unique touch for the audience. But then for me, I got distracted.
Solution: Multi-platform presence. Having worked in marketing and communications for the past 5 years, I now understand the importance of existing in multi-platform. Though every platform has a unique purpose, each can link to the other and thus improve discoverability. And this brings me to the next point:
- Lack of purpose — At first I started my #SundayReads sharing as a form of sharing my weekly personal reflection. But then as the numbers grew, I became ‘greedy’ and lost track of the original purpose of this all: sharing so others feel less alone. I overcomplicated things by using too many platforms at the same time and lost sight of who is what for which and what for.
Solution: Make yourself a personal purpose statement and be mindful of it. Being an ambitious empath, I want my sharing to help as many out there as possible. But I lost track of the essence of it because I was greedy with the growth — I wanted things to expand too soon too fast, too forced. With a strong purpose statement in mind, I believe we can walk each step towards growth mindfully. Because the last point is:
- Goals are too big — As I crave too much too soon, I eventually felt burnt out and demotivated. This is because the more I force myself to make, the less genuine my reflections become, making my goals further away from reality.
Solution: Break down the goals into smaller goals that make up a portion of the larger goal. This way, the goals become less of a burden and more a stepping stone. (It’s ironic to be experiencing this because I once wrote about the importance of celebrating small wins.)
So, why is it embarrassing to begin again?
Honestly, I think it’s because it is hard to admit defeat. Defeat from discipline, defeat from the previous ambitious goals, defeat from over-complicating things. Simply put, it is embarrassing to acknowledge the failures of yesterday. And to begin again, we’ll have to move past this feeling of defeat and acknowledge any pre-existing fear that’s merely in our thoughts (and not reality).
Now that I’ve faced my defeat and fear right in their faces, will I restart my #SundayRead series in 2024?
I guess you’ll have to stay tuned to find out!
